Sunday night when I was crawling into bed I smiled to myself and thought “I LOVE getting to bed before 10 pm.” I’d had an amazing weekend and loved being able to get to bed early to start my week on the right foot. Of course then I didn’t fall asleep till almost 11 (stupid DDD marathon) but at least I was in bed, relaxing, and on my way to a restful night’s sleep to begin my Monday on the right foot.
And as I lay in bed that night, I made a list of all the things that made me happy at that exact moment.
- Going to bed before 10 pm and actually being ASLEEP before then
- Dominating a new recipe
- Chopping veggies like they do on the Food Network
- Coming home from a workout feeling like I just showered in my clothes
- Finishing all the laundry – AND getting it all put away
- Clean floors
- The satisfaction of finishing a book I’ve been working on for a while
- True stories turned into a movie that make me cry
- Cleaning out my email inbox
I could go on and on… but these just made me hella happy thinking about them. With so many things to be thankful and grateful and HAPPY about, I still manage to gripe about others. At work my constant gripe is the kitchen – and the fact that sometimes I’m here and it feels like I’m babysitting 80 children… when really they’re all full-functioning adults who are just lazy. Which is super fun. At home it’s usually my idiot neighbors who frequent the hot tub right outside my bedroom past the hours it’s open. And in my personal life-ness (is that a thing? Well it is now…) it’s my struggle to get back in shape.
Working out is something I’ve ALWAYS done… sometimes more often than others. In high school I was a three-season athlete, and even out of season I was working out. In college I was constantly at the gym – prepping myself for those nights out so I could indulge without feeling guilty. AFTER college – I STILL went to the gym… although a lot less frequently. But then I got into running. You can do that anywhere. I ran the Dam to Dam three times (trained for four… but then that whole “stroke” thing happened…) I took up yoga. And here I am – at my heaviest, and complaining about it. I know it’s because I eat shitty food and drink too much delicious beer and skip workouts. I absolutely KNOW that’s why I’m unhappy with the way I look. And although it’s been almost a month of working out multiple days a week, I’m not SEEING a change. Yet.
After a text-gripe session with my favorite southern (Iowa) girl, I cleared my head of my complaints and just DID it. The number on the scale is staying constant which is annoying. I’ve improved my diet (some days more than others), worked out, drank water. So WHY haven’t I lost 20 pounds already? Because that’s not how it WORKS. It’s all about progress. It won’t happen overnight (unfortunately) – just because I ate a salad for lunch yesterday and twice last week doesn’t mean I’ll be skinny next week. The body is so much more complicated than that. I can FEEL that I have strength coming back (muscle memory is an amazing thing) and that the muscle is hiding under the layer of blubber I’m currently trying to excise from my body… but it’s a work in progress.
The #whole30 starts on Monday and this time around, I’m actually REALLY excited to start it. Of course I’ll miss my pizza and beer – and now that Scandal is starting again I won’t be able to drink a bottle glass of wine while I watch it, but I’m okay with that. Food is fuel – what you put in your body gives you the energy to get those workouts in, to sleep well, and to give you that little extra “oomf” to push through any hardship you come across. I LOVE food and am ready to test out some new clean-eating recipes. I want to mold and change the way I cook, eat and live.
I’ve even made a list of cooking “goals” to make cooking easier AND more challenging.
- Poach an egg
- Make hollandaise sauce (not during the #whole30 obvs.)
- Cook fish like a BOSS
- Recreate favorite recipes to make them healthier